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Integrative Health, Psychology and Relationship Support

A Simple Step to Overcome Inner Conflict

Posted by: Dr. Tina Morse PsyD, MFT

Topic: Life Support


Want vs. Need! What we want often looks like those things that we would like to acquire, …while what we need is more about what really nourishes us as a unique individual. It is a way of looking at ourselves, our lives, and much more than the food that we are eating. What we need comes from deep inside of us, …it is what is really important and what our soul is longing to manifest. Our passions and sense of purpose, enriching relationships, …and environments that reflect where we have been and who we have grown into. What makes you feel healthy and nourished? This article by Jennifer Crews helps you align with your core intentions.

Have you ever been presented with a dilemma and you were unsure which path to take? It can be daunting (at times) to know what to do, or, what choice to make in certain situations. It seems that our life decisions would be easier if they were spelled out in black and white, but so many of our challenges and opportunities fall into the gray category. There are layers of “what if? …Should I? …Is this right for me or, okay for the people I love and care about?” Add to that, MORE layers of “well who cares – it feels good to me now – nobody will know – it’s no big deal, (and) I will just see what happens.”

I have learned that when we are confronted with a big decision, it comes down to one very simple question.

Ask yourself: “what is my intention?” Write down what comes to mind without editing yourself. When you “hone-in” on what your true inner intentions are – your dilemma begins to reflect greater clarity, less gray shading with a bit more black and white. If your intention is to find a career that is in alignment with your life’s purpose – you can decide, “is this the right job for me?” If your intention comes down to, “I just want to make more money” – you look at the same opportunity and see a different answer.

The clearer we get about our intentions helps energize, put into motion and attract what is best for us. When we are unclear about what we want, we make decisions for many of the wrong reasons. We find that we make decisions from one layer of us, and then down the road discover we are disappointed because other layers that are important to us are not feeling nourished. Getting clear about your intentions will help you make choices in all areas of your life – relationships and career choices, as well as your emotional and physical health. When it comes to the dilemma of something as simple as, “should I eat this fast-food, …or donut?” Ask yourself honestly, “what is my intention?” if your intention is to indulge – know that and accept your decision accordingly, so that you are not punishing yourself later. If your intention is to have one sweet per week and having a donut fulfills that for you, then great – go for it! If your intention is to eat it because you have been feeling sorry for yourself lately, and you just don’t care anymore – then eating it will probably make you feel bad and may conflict with what you, “say” is important to you.

Did you know that all of your choices fulfill an intention on some level?

If you choose a job for more money alone, then that is exactly what will be fulfilled. If you choose to eat a donut to pacify harsh feelings you are having about yourself – you may feel fulfilled temporarily.

The more honest and clear you are about what’s important to you, the easier it will be to follow through with actions that support your goals. So, be clear! Ask yourself, “What is my intention?” (before you respond, or react); then pay attention to the energetic life-force helping to guide and reflect choices that support you to fulfill your core intentions.

Now, write down your inner conflict, describe it as best you can. Then ask yourself what do I want and what are the action steps I am going to take to support my intention and achieve my goal?

Learn more about Jennifer Crews and her upcoming workshops at www.HeartJen.com


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